Living in the ‘and’
In case you’re living in the ‘and’, like myself, you are not alone.
I’ve stared at the blinking cursor for far too long. I keep setting it aside and coming back to it, yet I feel my words are inadequate at this time. However, my heart knows that this feeling is not mine alone. And if it’s talked about more, then maybe it can become more easily accepted, perhaps even embraced.
If I’m being honest, life has been a complete roller coaster these last few months. I had been working on some really exciting things, looking forward to what was next on my plate in various areas of my life. And then, it started handing me lemon…after lemon…after lemon.
It felt easy to give up on ‘the dream’ I had been working towards, but instead I simply took some needed time away as I processed it all.
The biggest lesson I learned through it all, is that wherever you are, whatever happens, never forget to look at the good as well. Silver linings, as it’s said, can be present if you look for them. And I think this is key in handling those hard times with a little grace towards yourself. It is imperative to find that balance of how you view the things that life throws at you. Sometimes, you might not see it within the situation itself at all. This is perfectly okay. Sometimes, you might not see it until later on. And sometimes, you have to look for it elsewhere. All of these are acceptable.
Many of the people I’ve been talking with lately have expressed the idea of living in the ‘and’. This is when I realized I was not alone in the feeling. This constant tug of emotion and response. This feeling of being overwhelmed with the state of the world and the heaviness that comes with attempting to accept situations that are out of our control. And yet…finding reasons to be grateful for other things. The things that might not have been brought forth otherwise. Things that we may not have noticed if we were not forced to slow down and take them in.
Most importantly, I want you to know that there’s no need to feel guilty about it. I think we as humans have a hard time experiencing such conflicting emotions simultaneously. It doesn’t feel all that natural, and can create a sense of confusion and restlessness. But the nature of humanity is complex. It doesn’t always make sense. And I think that once we can accept and even embrace this phenomenon, we can start to ease up on the pressures we will sometimes put on ourselves to figure it all out.
Work can be stressful AND meaningful.
Relationships can be frustrating AND life-giving.
You can be grieving AND feel grateful.
Parenting can be completely exhausting AND the best thing you’ve ever done.
A world-wide pandemic can be overwhelming AND provide new opportunities.
Life can be difficult AND good.
So, I want you to know.. especially during this holiday season. It is perfectly okay to be living in the ‘and’. Please be gracious with yourself. None of us have it all figured out. We are all doing the best we can. So take the time to notice the little things, maybe even the ones right in front of you. Notice the good things. Take the time you need, and share that goodness with those around you who may need a bit of hope as well.
In case you’re living in the ‘and’, you are not alone.
